The Bible as a mirror

"Jesus, if this is what it means to follow you... If this is what being a disciple looks like, if this is what 'hating my father and mother and taking up my cross' translates to in my life, I'm no longer interested. It is simply too hard."

I wish those words were fictional, but the reality is that they have flowed from my lips, quite accurately reflecting the condition of my heart at one time. Perhaps you can recall a time in your life that you thought the same, when Christianity was no longer a convenience for you - a time where God drove a stake in the ground and your entire life got hung up and did a 180 degree turn. In America, we're plagued with blessings. I use that term because when I take a moment and look at how blessed I am, I have allowed those blessings to reduce my need for Christ. Face it: for the majority of Christians in America, we don't NEED Jesus. Instead of a five course meal, He's a side dish. It's fun to go to church, sing, be encouraged by the pastor, and shake hands on the way out the door. But, do we NEED Him? Do I absolutely have to have Jesus? I made a list of the things I feel that I need in life.

• A realistic financial income. I need that because I'm independent, and allows me to have:
• A place to live. I need my own space.
• Food to eat. I need to have snacks on call so I won't be hungry.
• A car to drive. I need to be able to go where I want, when I want.
• Companionship. I often find my identity in my friends, so I need them around often.
• Entertainment. The best types cost money, see need #1.
• Hope for the future. I need to know my life is going somewhere and will count for something.

The problem came when Jesus started tweaking my list. He apparently wanted to show me that, not only did He want to be on the list, He wanted to be first and last. I began to realize that if being a Christian is convenient, we're doing it wrong. We're missing the point! When I have the things from my above list, my life goes pretty easy, and I'd be willing to bet yours does too. But, was I created to have an income, shelter, food, and reliable transportation? Was I created to have friends and be entertained?

I can assure you my heart is no longer in the place you've seen above. The conflict was that I needed something I wasn't created for. Or to put it another way, I didn't need the one thing I WAS created for - to glorify God. The Lord had to re-arrange my life to show me that my needs were out of line. I relied on myself to provide things that only He can provide. I wanted Jesus to watch me try to live for Him. "Jesus, I'm gonna do big things for you, and in your name, and I'll call if I need help." It's laughable, now that I think about it.

I'll be the first to admit that it is a daily struggle for me to need Jesus. But I can promise you that when I allow myself to truly rely on Him, Jesus always pulls through. I told a friend yesterday that he was my superhero. If I step out in faith, He meets me every time.

What do you need today?